


My Boss

by JanustheGod



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Boss/Employee Relationship, Developing Friendships, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Multi, Sex Toys, bathtub orgasm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26232367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanustheGod/pseuds/JanustheGod
Summary: You are Gwen’s assistant and she pisses you off so much.
Relationships: Gwendoline Christie/Giles Deacon, Gwendoline Christie/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. St. Ives

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This is a previous work I decided to orphan but time has passed and the story did not leave my mind so I'm moving on again. I'll post first 2 chapters now and add the third after posting.
> 
> *Yes I wrote the warning in capitals.*

You rush from her house to multiple places for deliveries and appointments. You sweat even in winter and thanks to her your gym membership is for nothing cause firstly, you don’t have any time left for it bc of your work and second she runs your ass off so much that you don’t need any exercise and it seems it wont get better any sooner.

While you wipe the sweat out of your face your phone rings. You try to pick it up as you run for a hope finding a taxi to hit on. Your hands shake while finding your phone in your bag and you feel smaller and smaller because of the fear of being scolded again. Your beautiful boss demands just perfection and if you mess up one thing she let’s out her inner monster to kick your ass. Your self esteem became lower since you got the job and you can remember how happy you were that day after your interview with her. Now it seems so far away and it has been just 1 year. How can this lovely woman you thought before, became a nervous, nerve racking cruel woman? At your honeymoon with her (first 2 months) you were really having fun and laughing at things occasionally. When your third month came everything has changed and you don’t know how. She did not have any new work coming at him or you did nothing odd or unusual to cause a problem. It was just one day, she became very assertive than she always was. Maybe someone died or something big has changed in her life but it has been another three months and you continue to suffer more and more. If there was a day she did not scold you, you were going to thank the gods but no, you can’t recall a time she did not.

As these thoughts ran in your mind you picked up your phone with a heavy breath. You sucked it up and said hi to your boss. Immediately she attacked.

“If you can’t even answer a phone on time why the hell you became an assistant?”

“Sorry Gwen I was in hurry.”

“Of course you are.”she answered sarcastically.

You said nothing. Then she went on.

“After your appointment come to my house. I’ll send you the location..”

“I know your house, no need to send me-“

“Not that house you- just call me when you’re done okay?” She sounded troubled.

“Okay.” You nod and she hangs up. You wave and whistle at a taxi and then get in.

After your appointment with a producer you were in tube to create the route for Gwen’s house. Her real house, you thought. You always thought that the place you went time to time was her real house but today you were about to find out where she actually lived. You somewhat still loved being around her even though she was always tense during your conversations and other occasions. You wondered why did she called you to come to her house then. At least she trusts me a bit I guess you said to yourself out loud.

When you arrived to the central station you took a train for the last time and then you’ll be at her house. It was outside of the city, close to the rural area and it was raining when you placed yourself in a seat.

“Shit.” You said and looked into your bag if you brought an umbrella with you. There was none and you cursed again. You hated the rain cause it will make your hair frizzy and your sandals were going to be destroyed.

You put on your earphones as you napped for an hour until you reach your destination.

You woke up from the sound of train’s whistle. One station left to see your boss’ unpleased face after 3 days. The less you saw each other the more you became anxious of the thought of seeing her. It was like rebuilding a relationship every time and it exhausted you. At least she paid you well compared to your latest job and that kept you alive even after she yelled at your for fully 15 minutes. After that you became more distant and searched for other jobs. It’s been four months since then.

You stood up when you realized it was your stop and gathered your stuff with you. You ran out of the train and then looked for your phone. It was vibrating, someone was calling apparently and it was her.

“Shit!” You said before picking up.

“Hi-“

“WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU? I’ve been calling you for fucking god knows how many hours and if you tell me that you’re still in the city know that you need to find another job!” She kept on talking burningly and all you did was keeping phone a few centimeters away from your ear and then wait until the noise goes silent. When it did you replaced the phone.

“Sorry about that but my phone was on silent mode because of the meeting and I am in St. Ives. No need to fire me now even though I know how much you would like it.” You said out of nowhere and then cowered hour mouth.

“Shite what the fuck I said?” You said to yourself. But before that she began to speak.

“Okay then. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” She said and then hang up as usual without any words of farewell. You looked at the screen of your phone and hope that she will not tell anything about the thing you said a few seconds ago.

You waited more than 10 minutes. It has been half an hour and you were pacing all around the station. Checking your phone occasionally for time and any texts from her about her lateness. After another five minutes you saw a drop-head coming at you and then you saw the driver’s blonde hair mixed with the wind. When she pulled you walked towards her and she went out of the car with her umbrella . You stopped in a comfortable distance for both of you.

“Hi.” You said and she nodded in response. Then she looked at you from head to toe. Put her hand under her chin and then raised a brow.

“What happened to you?” She asked. You forgot how you looked. It was raining when you spoke to her and still it is. You were under the roof and she dropped the umbrella as she came to you. She took your bag from your hand and then looked at you.

“Sorry for yelling at you but I was panicked.” She seemed sincere about it. Of course she is panicked cause when something goes wrong it’s not her job to deal with it. You were always her stress ball after all and this kept on going like this, maybe it will. But still she didn’t say anything about your outburst on the phone. She looked at you for a response but what could you say? You couldn’t apologize her for making her panicked so you said nothing. She turned her head to left then and looked at the distance for a second. She looked at you toweringly and spoke.

“And you didn’t call me after the meeting. I still think I have right to be a little frustrated at you.” She said regaining her normal self and then handed out the umbrella to you. You stood as you took it and she walked to the car. You ran to her and tried to hold the umbrella for her but you forgot how tall she was so you ended up poking her eye out.

“What the fuck?” She covered her eye and looked at you. You felt like a child and tried to say sorry but she took the umbrella away from you.

“Give it to me.” She said and held the umbrella for both of you.

“It’s just a little rain.” She mumbled. You looked at her with wide eyes. It was pouring like waterfalls.

“A little?” You snapped. She turned her head to look down at you and smirked cockily then turned away. What was that? Was she mocking with you? Jesus-

“Get in.” She said as you lost in thoughts and waited for a moment next to the car. You did as she said and then she left the bag on your lap. She closed the door and went to the other side of the car. You watched her until she sat and started the engine.

The road was bothersome with bumps and stuff coming out of anywhere possible. She drove very slow because of this and you could see the frustration on her face. You said no word until she spoke, it was always like that between you. She never chatted with you more than a few minutes. Even if she did it was mostly taking place in the events to be away from bothersome people. You glanced at her and the look on her face. It was hard and stoic. When she was upset, angry or something heavy settled on her mind, she was wearing that face. She noticed you and her face changed. It softened a little bit and then turned back to the road again. You turned your head to the other side and watched the scenery. You waited until you saw the sea and the people passing near your car. But it was peaceful. A house near the sea was something you looked forward to achieve. You let out a breath and smiled at the thought.

“What is it?” She asked while looking at the road.

“It’s nice here.” You said. She smiled.

“It’s quiet and the most south you can ever get in England. There’s the sea.” She pointed while pushing on the brake. She pointed somewhere else more closer now.

“There is a pub over there and-“ she stopped and froze for a moment.

“Are you okay?” You looked at her and then the place she pointed at. She laughed at herself and smiled.

“Nothing, it’s just memories.” She said and then drove again. You couldn’t be sure if it was just memories for her but nodded. You watched every place you passed by in excitement. It was like a little trip for your eyes and also lungs.

“Why did you forget to call me?” She asked not connecting eyes with you.

“Um- honestly I forgot cause I was in hurry. I ran in order to take the train on time to be here before sunset.” You said. She chuckled.

“Aren’t you 25 or something? Or your parents still ask you where you are?” You understood what she said and then also chuckled.

“No. It’s just a habit.” You said.

“Okay then.” She said and smiled. You two said nothing after that until you arrived home and she told you to sit on the couch. You sat and waited for her. She was in the bathroom and told you to be comfortable, to watch tv or go wander in the garden. She also gave you the wifi password as soon as you arrived. She gave it for you to check emails, you thought. Always a workaholic.

When you heard the sound of the water coming from the shower you stepped out and looked at the scenery. The house was on a hill that sees the sea and the town. You looked at how cars went from shore into the little streets that you can’t see properly from this distance. You looked up and then the house behind you. It was also an old house as her car. It was not like her to own any nostalgic things other than her memories. She once said something like this in an interview and you found it odd. Maybe this was what she truly is and now she let you enter her real world. Maybe it’s just your imagination. You took a last look at the scenery and went inside to prepare coffee for yourself. Your footsteps made that sound on the wooden floor that you loved to hear. The kitchen had ceramic tiles in blue and white details on it. You liked the kitchen cause it was also from early 1900’s. Still the place was unbelievably new and modern.

You filled the kettle with water and put it on fire. As you turned to find coffee she was behind you and you bumped each other.

“Sorry.” You both said at the same time and you went a little red cause she was in a robe but you saw her cleavage and her smell was amazingly soothing. She held you from your shoulders not to fall towards the oven and burn yourself then the whole house, you thought. You looked at her and tried to smile but embarrassment was making it difficult. She took her hands from your shoulders and smiled.

“Can you make me a tea?” She said as she glanced at the kettle.

“Yes! Yes, of course.” You settled. She laughed at you and then thanked you. While she was searching for something in the refrigerator the milk dropped on the floor.

“Fuck!” She cursed and picked it up still cursing. Was she on her period or something really bad happened?

“I will clean it. Please go and relax. I will bring you the tea.” You said trying to calm her and persuade her. Usually she would curse also at you and talk about how she can manage her own mistakes and faults but she did the unusual one. She took a step back and looked at the mess. Then stepped out of it thanking you again. She went upstairs, her mood dripping down from her legs to the end of the stairs then coming right into your face.

“What happened to her?” You asked yourself as you watched her leave.

You have cleaned everywhere and prepared a tray with biscuits and a variety of chocolates she liked. You put the tea and the milk next to them and went upstairs.

You took a deep breath and knocked on the door. There was no answer. You knocked it again. No sound came.

“Umm, I brought the tea. Can I come in?” You asked. A few seconds later the door opened and you saw how untidy her room was. It was not like her and you looked at her with a face that told everything what was on your mind.

“Sorry about the mess. It’s been a-“ she stopped and looked at the tray.

“You’ll going to make me fat.” She said as she reached for the chocolate plate. She bit onto the dark one with cherry in it.

“God...” she said in an orgasmic voice. Your stomach twisted and your heart lost a few beats at that. You cleared your throat to let the feeling go.

“So umm. I’m leaving these here.” You said as you went to leave the tray on her bedside table.

“Oh no. Please sit with me. She said sitting on her king size bed. Four people could fit in this bed and that thought also made you uneasy. Your face got hot and you tried to breathe properly. She patted on the place next to her.

“Come sit.” She said still eating the chocolates very seductively. What the fuck? What was happening to you?

You shut your eyes for a moment and sat on the bed as far as possible. When you opened your eyes she was holding a chocolate between her fingers at you. You startled and held onto the bed.

“S-sorry.” You said. She gave you the chocolate and then you ate it slowly cause you did not want to look at her. Her bare legs. Her freshly curled hair and the after shower blush on her face. Before this job you adored her and loved her but when you started working together you saw that no one is the same from the outside. Then it started. You hated her, you cursed at her and then you started to feel nothing towards her. But now, you were feeling those first feelings again out of nowhere. Still, whenever you were angry with her you could admire her looks and how she keeps up with her schedule. It was tough after game of thrones and not getting any better for you to cope with. You slowly chewed your chocolate and then she gave you a biscuit. You smized and took it even though you haven’t finished with chocolate.

“Don’t you drink anything?” She asked adding a very little milk on her tea. Her long fingers covered the mug and she sipped.

“It’s in the kitchen.” You said as you bit onto the biscuit.

“Oh wait!” She said putting her hand under your chin to hold the crumbs.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying atten-“

“Take this.” She said as she took the plate from the tray.

“Thanks.” You said and took it. Your fingers brushed, your heart beat faster and you snapped back to reality. She stood up and went put of the room to downstairs. When did she stood up you couldn’t catch because you were lost in the feeling of her smooth skin touching yours. How she smiled at you while giving you the chocolate and how she bit into that creamy chocolate.

“It’s hot in here.” You said to yourself and when she came she stopped at the doorway.

“Is it?” She asked holding your cup in her hand. In her other hand she was holding two glasses made for a scotch or whiskey. Under her arm there was what you hoped for;

A scotch.

She noticed your glances and smiled coming at you. She placed the cup next to you as she spoke.

“I thought it’s better if I drink a glass of this rather than the tea.” She said. You nodded at that and took your cup and drank it.

“So, do you want some? I can put it in your coffee. I believe Russians or Nordic people do that.” You look at her and she sits.

When it’s too cold.” She adds and opens the bottle and pours some for herself.

“So you want some?” She asks again. You nod.

“Oh but you said it’s too hot here. We can go downstairs, outside if you want.” You nod.

“Are you okay?” She asks. You nod again.

“Hey Y/N I am becoming worried now. Did you take any drugs?” There you wake up and speak.

“No! I would never do that!” She looks at you and stays like that for a moment. Then she cracks up and laughs. You also laugh and then she stops.

“So you want to go down?” She asks in a serious tone. Actually it sounded as if she was asking something more different and you stopped that image coming at your mind.

“Yes.” You said in the most calm way you could ever achieve at that moment.


	2. Cigarettes & Scotch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Gwen become much more closer yet your relationship getting more awkward-er.

You were sitting on the couch a blanket over your knees and another on her shoulders. She got a cigarette out of the packet and lighted it. Then she turned to you and asked you if you wanted. You wanted but said no to not seem as an addictive. She always said she was not addicted but you can tell she puffed whenever she was stressed or bored or having fun. So there was no occasion left that she did not. Except sex, shitting or eating. The two of them you have never seen, so you can say she may smoke one while she’s in the toilet. Which did not bother you and made you quite giggly on the inside. She looked at your amused face and asked you what’s on your mind. You made up something and she seemed unsatisfied with your lie and took another drag. She watched the scenery with you and when she finished her glass she placed it on the grass. You watched her actions and she turned her body towards you. She got her legs under her and looked at you searingly. You gulped and smiled. 

“So tell me, are you satisfied with your job?” She asked taking another drag and looking away.

“I guess so.” You said hesitantly. Her eyes captured you and you froze.

“You guess so?” She repeated while holding the cigarette between her fingers, away from her. Her face came closer and asked again.

“You guess you like the job or you don’t like it and you try to be polite?” Her eyes made you uneasy, you couldn’t know if she was angry or really asking you how you felt. Your hands sweated and you pulled the blanket over you. 

“Well, I guess I like,” you trailed and she became more interested.

“I guess I like you more than the job.” You didn’t control your tongue and this was the first time you saw her very surprised. She returned to her place and poured another glass of whisky. She looked at the honey liquid fulling the glass. You did not judge but couldn’t understand why she topped the glass fully with that hard whisky. You were barely at the half of it but she seemed very troubled by the way she acted from the beginning. 

“Is there something wrong Gwen?” You asked carefully. She stopped and put the bottle slowly on the grass again. She took her glass and took a sip. She hissed at the feeling of burning and smiled. 

“I seem like an alcoholic, don’t I?” She chuckled and took another sip. This one was more longer. You also took one from your glass and licked your lips at the feeling.

“No actually. I think something bothers you or is this another role you are practicing?” You asked. She leaned back and puffed. 

“If I were to play myself, it would be bothersome to watch later.” She said and then looked at you. 

“Because of this I can understand your discomfort on watching me as I fill myself with this and hush myself with cigarettes.” She lifted the glass and put out her cigarette. She looked at you and then to the scenery. You waited for her to say something but she never spoke. Suddenly she took the glass in her hands and bent down a little. She took a troubled breath and let it out. 

“We had a fight.” She said while looking down at the grass. Her long figure melted as she looked down. You wanted to pat her shoulder or hug her. You held onto your glass to hold your hands in place and did not look at her. You gave her a space to tell more of what was troubling on her shoulders. She chugged the glass in a very masculine way and threw the glass somewhere away. She stood up and took the pack from the couch. She lighted another cigarette and threw you the packet. Her eyes narrowed at the fire coming out of the lighter and then they turned to you.

“I know you also smoke.” She said commanding you to smoke. You took a cigarette from the pack and she sat down next to you to light it. You slowly let your cigarette meet her lighter and could not stand not to look at her just even for a second. Your eyes met and you stopped breathing. She looked for a few more seconds into your eyes and then put the lighter down, turned her eyes somewhere else and stood up. You looked down at your cigarette and took a breath. She started to walk around the garden but not far that you can’t hear what she will say. She stopped when she finished the circle ending where you were. You looked at her to assure her that you are listening. She started walking again. 

“It was three days ago but I knew it was coming. We have been away for months. I think I have been uncaring while I preferred to party with friends. But in the end I knew we were going to be apart.” She said and looked at you. You couldn’t know what to say and took a sip from your whisky. She walked back to the couch and sat. You two lost in the silence again. You wanted to say and ask things but the dead proximity between you two did not let you do anything. She puffed and poured whisky into her glass again. She finished the drink and leaned back. Her arms wide next to her sides , on the couch and you realized her face was red. 

“Please don’t misunderstand me Gwen, but I think you shouldn’t drink after this. Tomorrow we need to go-“

“I cancelled it!” She raised her voice with her point finger in the air. 

“What?” You asked. She looked at you sharply.

“I fucking cancelled that shitty meeting.” She said and then laughed. Her tremendous laugh filled the garden and your ears. The boss you knew wouldn’t even think about cancelling a meeting but calling it a “shitty meeting” is something otherworldly by itself. You smiled trying to hold your laugh. When her amusement faded you both looked at each other. Then you did not hold your words and asked.

“How are you feeling?” Her eyes looked down and then looked back at you. It was different than what you have seen on her face from time to time. It was not just an upset face she wore. That was more complicated than that. You wanted to ask. She wanted to reply but you just smiled at her. She smiled back not as you did but still, it was a smile. You couldn’t even imagine sitting like this, smiling at each other sincerely -at least from your side-. If you tried harder and get some words out of her mouth you could. You could ask why she was scolding you all the time and becomes angry very quickly when you do something wrong. But when the other assistants mess up she never treats them as she did to you. But it was for another day’s spill your guts session.

She shifted and puffed looking away. You finished your glass and put it on the grass as she did. There she looked at you and asked if you wanted more with just her expression on her face.

“No. Thank you.” You said but she was already opening the bottle and pouring whisky into your glass. 

“For what do you want company?” You asked. She froze and couldn’t understand what you said.

“I can listen without alcohol or anything you may think that helps the mood to be more-“

“What are you talking about?” She snapped taking the bottle away and putting it down next to her. 

“What are you saying?” She asked with that bossiness again. You felt the quickened pace of your heart again when she did that and tried to explain.

“I meant if you need someone to talk, I can listen and make you feel a -“

“What do you think you are? My friend or my therapist?” She becomes frustrated at your unnecessary thoughtfulness.

“I’m sorry. I think I misunderstood and I can go and leave you alone if you want.” You say standing up and putting the cigarette down. You place your blanket neatly on the couch and give a quick smile to Gwen and then get inside to take your stuff. Gwen stands up after you went in and raises her voice.

“Where do you think you’re going at this hour?” You chuckle.

“It’s just 8 pm. I’m sure I won’t die if I go to London at this hour.” You said while taking your jacket from the couch and zipping your bag. She takes your bag away and stops you. Her hands on her face, covering her eyes. She starts to make a sound you’ve just heard when she was practicing for a role. 

She was crying.

“God...” you say very quietly only you could hear. But she made it out and took her hands from her face.

“Am I that bothersome?” She asked in her previous temper. 

“Jesus no!” You say and couldn’t believe the exclamation you made. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to yell like that.” 

“It’s okay.” She says and sits on the couch with a weight on her back of devastation. Then you sit next to her feeling equally upset as her. 

“I know I’m just an employee but I am also a human. I may understand and even help you. I don’t judge people if it helps for you to know that.” You teased at the end. She smiled while looking at the floor. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel as if I’m pregnant but I cannot be! I just-“ she stopped and got her head into her hands.

“I feel like it’s been ages since I let myself out.” She said and you couldn’t understand if she meant it in sexually or emotionally. You didn’t say a thing but nod.

“Have you ever felt like that?” She turned to you at that.

“Like what?” You hesitated.

“Like you can’t let yourself out and holding it so dearly like everything you did and will do depends on it.” You took a breath and thought. This was not about sex.

“Yes.” You said after letting out that breath.

“Oh God. I’m not the only one then.” She said leaning back in ease. Her face turned to you and she smiled in exhaustion.

“Thanks. I know I’m not very open but still your presence helps.” She said and smiled more sincerely. You tried to return her smile and couldn’t hide your blush appearing on top of your cheeks. She turned her head and then got out of the couch. 

“I um- I had a script to read and a role to practice so, I will be upstairs and if you need something just tell me and I can get it for you. Please feel comfortable as if it is your house and don’t bother me if it’s not urgent.” She bit her lips at the end.

“I didn’t mean to sound that bossy, sorry. If it is not urgent I would be pleased not to be bothered y/n.” She said giving a quick smile. The things she said just happened in a few seconds so all you could understand was she will be upstairs, you can bother her but if it is urgent. 

“I understood.” You said assuring her. She smiled and looked around to find something. She went outside and then came back in and then looked a few more seconds after going outside again. She took her pack and whisky bottle. At that moment you heard her phone ringing from upstairs. You went to her and tapped on the glass door.

“Your phone’s ringing.” You said to her and she lifted her head to look at you. There it was again. That upset look and befuddlement. Why was she like that? What was there she didn’t speak to you or herself? She left everything she took and went upstairs like a speed racer. 

You sat on the couch trying not to listen her gradually raising voice as she kept on talking with someone and that someone may be her boyfriend, lover or well expected future husband. For a reason you wanted her relationship to end with him but you knew he was a guy who deserves her and still, the feeling bothered you until it made you question who are you to think like that? Why were you hoping that she would be crying when the call ends and you would caress her back while wiping her tears away. 

At this moment Y/N realised that her boss “Gwendoline Christie” was more than someone she appreciated and fan-girled before working with her. Now she realised that fan-girling was a very simple to describe what she was feeling while sitting on her couch, in her house and listening her to be private phone call. 

You immediately ran to your bag and got your own pack of cigarettes out. Took one or two or maybe the whole pack of cigarettes out and started to smoke. You went outside not to hear her but she was near her windows and you got a much more clear sound than before.

“Why are you keep telling me the same thing? Can’t you accept that I want to have my own life but still with you by my side?” 

You took another drag not looking at her not distracting her by making her see you while you walk around her garden, listening her conversation. Actually, you always listened her conversations and you were sure she knew it. Cause she looked at you multiple times as if a teacher would look at their naughty student to let them know they know everything about them. 

Right now you thought, She knows I’m listening and maybe even she expects my support. You laughed when you finished the sentence in your head. 

“You are selfish!” She yelled pointing out her finger pressing on the window. 

“You are selfish! You are.” She paused and listened his lover’s voice. But she couldn’t keep herself long.

“Just- I don’t see any point of this argument. Can you text me when you are sober and sane?” Her head went out and you hid inside still smoking at the doorstep opening to the garden. 

“Fine! Never get your head out of your butt and don’t call me until its out!” 

Your eyebrows raised.

“That did not end well.” You said to your self while taking drag. You hummed a melody out of please and smiled with just one corner of your mouth. That fight actually made you happy. What the-

“Shit!” You heard over the stairs coming down holding her phone in her hand and her eyes piercing through the screen. 

“Is there any mode that I can not receive any message, call any notifications from this person without blocking him?” She asked you. It took a while for you to understand that you are addressed by her. When she came next to you and gave you the phone there you turned to her a little startled.

“Oh yes. I thought you were talking to yourself.” She looked at your hand and then the smoke coming out of your mouth. Her hands went over for your cigarette and other hand placed the phone to your empty left hand. You took it and looked at her with an empty face.

“I’m finishing this and you try to find a way to do what I said.” She placed the cigarette between her lips first and then searched around. She looked everywhere; the sides of the couch, every bookshelf and under the couch. She went into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and her face got much more red than when she cursed at her phone coming down the stairs. 

“Where the hell is it?” She yelled at herself. You couldn’t understand what she was searching for but still offered your help. 

“What is it if I can help you to find?” Your head pointed at where she was. She got her head under the counter and looked a little preplexed. Her face changed and she coughed.

“It’s none of your business and do what I said.” She ordered and you tugged your head with that looking at the ‘Settings’ of her phone. While you searched for a solution on google to do what she asked for you turned to ask if it is okay for you to use her phone for it. But she was gone and some noises were coming out of her room. Doors were opening and closing. She was yelling and a smoke came when you looked up on your tippy toes, holding onto the railing of the stairs. 

“God! Where the fuck I’ve put it last time?” Then you turned to her phone kept going with your search. You placed yourself on the couch again and lighted another cigarette. While puffing it you hummed the same melody and tapped on the screen of the phone. It was going to be done in a few seconds thanks to google. But your eyes always checked those texts from her boyfriend until the very end. It was very unusual for her to give this much of her privacy to her with her own hands. Then when you thought about why he texted again before you could finish what you were doing.

‘You can have your fun with any guy or girl but in the end you’ll come to me. But I won’t be welcoming you this time my knees on the floor begging for you to let me taste your little cu-.” 

That was a little-

“Fuuuck! I’m going insane!” Her footsteps began to get closer to your ears and you just slid the message away from the screen. When she cam she was like a fireball. 

“Are you done with it?” She asked in frustration but it was not towards you. You knew it. You absentmindedly handed her the phone before you realised actually you were not finished. When she were to grab her phone you took it and did the last step.

“Are you mocking me? Is it-“

“I forgot to finish it. There is just this one last step aaand...” you gave the phone to her. Then she seemed a little more calm but still fired up.

“Thanks.” She said as she were to go up again but she stopped herself with her hand on the railing. 

“And umm, can you go out for a few hours. There’s 100 pounds under that jar and you can eat a great meal down town. Also If you can drive and not murder my car, you may go there with my car.” She said and waited for your response. You looked confused.

“You know that you can tell me to go back to London. There’s-“

She rolled her eyes. 

“No it’s not it. I need an alone time.” She said with a voice you have never heard unless you watched any of her works. Her ears and cheeks got pink and she just turned her head away from your gaze.

“If it’s not a burden for you, I would appreciate for you to take your time before coming back here Y/N. I’m frustrated and um-“ she stopped herself before her whole body would become more different shade of a red. 

“Can you just do as I say?” She cooled herself down and looked at you as if she was to murder you in case you did not obey.

“O-okay.” You said.


	3. Relaxation is Essential

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Soundtrack of this Chapter
> 
> Amber Mark - Thong Song (Cover)
> 
> I would rather listen when Gwen's scenes would come up ;)
> 
> *Thanks to Amber Mark's genius music I've got a lot of things out of on Gwen's side. I hope the next chapter will be better on that sexual tension part between you and her.

You headed out of the house with keys and your phone. You were talking to yourself to understand your boss but no matter what you thought you couldn't explain why she kicked you out. Still, you could just enjoy this place with her car -which was a blessing that you could never even imagine-. It did not took you long to start the engine and head ahead to town. you enjoyed the mountain views and green lands on your way and even opened the radio for a sound to delight your ears. It was as if you were in a feel good french/italian movie and you were to find the love of your life. Cause the scenery and the car gave that effect to you. Not so long after you hit the road your phone buzzed. It was a text message from Gwen but you put the phone down to concentrate on the road. You saw the town and felt a bit better that it did not took you too long to see the sea. Then another text message came. Your eyes fell onto the screen for a brief moment and then on the road. 

At last you were in the town and checking your message box while locking the car. There were two messages from your boss saying where you can eat a pleasant meal by giving her name and where you can drink. But she was not approving driving if you drank more than one glass of wine. This made you questioned if it was beer was it okay to drive then?You just wanted to write this to her but no, you were not that close to have fun of each other. Maybe she could have fun with you but not you with her. Because obviously you were her assistant and that was not the way things work in this beautiful world of hierarchy. Instead you texted a simple 'Thank you Gwen.' and searched for the places you can explore in this beautifully not like England place. 

"I can enjoy as much as I can except consuming any alcoholic beverages." you said to yourself imitating her tone in that message.

 _'If you were to consume any alcoholic beverages please do not drive and let me know. I will arrange something for that situation. But I would not prefer you to get drunk.'_ she texted. 

But there was an obvious hilariousness in this situation that was making you laugh at her more;

She made you drive while you just finished having your second glass of scotch. 

"On this case I can wait until I get sober and then drive." still laughing at her in your head. That was what you must tell her and she deserved more than a stupid _Thank you Gwen._

 _'I thank you so much for your consideration but I need to tell you that I drove here having two glasses of scotch in my body in case you were wondering about my tolerance of alcohol and driving skills. So if anything occurs not pleasant I will wait until I get sober and not cause any trouble to you Gwen. Thank you, again.'_  
  
You read it a few times and then sent it without a second thought. In a few minutes she sent you another message while you were walking towards the sea side. You saved reading the message for later to enjoy the view for now. 

She saw your message and at first she got more frustrated when you left her in the house. But then she smiled at your cockiness and felt her belly stir with heat. She did not respond to your message but she wanted to write ‘Still, be careful and let me know’. Because she needed to pay for your insurance if anything happened to you which she would rather avoid if she thought when she fired you out of her house an hour ago. Right now she needed to release the building heat on her belly and her chest and it was little to do with her boyfriend but she did not know that.

You sat on a bench and took a photo of the coming sunset and the lights reflected on the sea surface. The clouds were a dreamy peach color with orange hues. Then you sent it to your friend who you talked daily about anything happening around you. He asked you where you were and the scenery was not even close to anywhere in London. When you wrote you were in St. Ives he called you immediately.

“What?” He asked as soon as you pressed ‘accept’ on your phone.

“Yes.” You said without even needing to hear what he’ll say next.

“Is she mad? Are you being a slave again?” He asked seriously. You laughed at that because it has been like this for a while and you got used to the job unless it threatened your life.

“No but she’s a little bit forgetful these days that she forgot about I had a day off for today and the whole week. I hope we won’t stay long that I need to call her manager and ask him to cancel my application.” Your friend grunted at the other end of the phone. _You were being a stupid_ again.

“I know Greg what I sound like but this is the job.” You said before he spoke. He took a moment before speaking and you looked at the scenery before you while waiting for his response. He sounded more calm and a bit more intimate now.

“I don’t want you to go through the same exact thing that happened a few times before. I know it sounds stupid cause I can do nothing about this but you can.” He said and you waited for a moment now. He sounded much different than your previous talks. _Maybe I’m being used again_ the thought crossed your mind. This was actually what you wanted to avoid but every time it found you no matter what. You sighed.

“I know. But for now, I’m okay working for her. Also you know I do like her.” You added with a warmth in your heart. Greg scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“But you said that she was an ass. A true boss that you don’t want to work again. You also told me that ‘Never meet your celebrity crush’ or ‘idol’. I don’t really remember which you preferred at that time.” He sounded annoyed. It was the time two years ago that you two sat in the park after a great dinner and grabbed some wine from the store. Those were the last years of your college. You both needed to find a job to escalate you to where you want to be. You were telling him about who you wanted to work with and Gwen was on that list. After a year working in the theatre and some short movies you finally met right people. That night you’ve also told your friend Greg that you actually liked Gwen not as an idol that you’ve told before but as a crush. That took you a while to understand and realize the difference between your admiration and sexual drive towards her. You cleared you throat.

“I know what I’ve said but things change and my thoughts too. I know you also like her not like I do but still, you should get some degree of my dedication to this job.”

“Yes.” He said without waiting a second.

“I know exactly what you are there for.” He sounded sultry and the warmth reached to your belly. _Jesus Greg, stop making me think about her in that way_ you felt guilty.

“Jokes aside, how are you two still working? Is she yelling at you everyday?”

“No. She started to keep her tension to herself or Giles.” You said.

“Who?” Greg asked like he did not know.

“Giles. Her boyfriend or life partner. I think they are partners without marriage cause she or he may have other plans. Still, they are very good at working together.”

“You’re not going to spare any details tonight, aren’t you?” Greg asked amused.

“I will Greg cause it’s being ethical but most important-“

“Professional.” Greg said in Gwen’s tone. You laughed now.

“You’ve learned your lesson I guess.” You said then. He nodded.

“How are you doing?” You asked and he did wait a while. He took his time that you felt to need to ask if he was still on the line.

“Are you there?” You said. He took a breath and then opened his mouth but stopped himself.

“I missed you.” He said. You felt uneasy at his words but not in the bad way. But you did not feel good also.

“Umm…” you could not gather words and did not want to say something not true.

“Why?” You asked instead. He chuckled.

“Why? Cause you’re my friend! And we never see each other as we used to. I miss you very much when you’re always working and talking about _her_ and the work.” He sounded serious.

“Oh. Are you jealous?” You said before thinking.

“Yes.” He replied without hesitating.

“Of her? Or me talking about only work and _her_?”

“Both. Her and your world seems to revolve around her particularly.”

“Oh my god. You are jealous!” You could not believe the conversation you were having right now.

“Yes. I told you the first time you asked.” He said with that serious tone again. You begged that this was not happening right now when you’re somewhere else and cannot get it out of your head unless you sit and talk with him. You stood up from the bench and started to walk towards the bustling side of the city.

“So.” You said and waited for him to tell you much more about what was on his mind. You could also hear him pacing around and his heavy breathing. It made you want to be there with him. But you needed to get things straight.

“Greg, can you tell me if it’s a friendly jealousy or-“

“Not.” He cut you off. You stopped walking and froze in place.

“Oh.” Escaped from your mouth.

“Yes. I know and I also know that it’s not… mental. It’s not like me Y/N. I know that it is wrong and I shouldn’t feel this way about you but I can’t control my brain.” He said with a fake laugh.

“When?” You asked. Inside you were also wondering _why_ and _what am I going to do now?._

“Sorry?” He asked as if not understood your question.

“When did it start?” You asked pressing on the words.

“Oh! I don’t really remember but I guess not so long ago.”

“What do you mean like you don’t remember? Isn’t there a specific occasion that you’ve felt like this again?” You sounded pissed and tried to calm your tone down at the end of the sentence.

“I-I truly don’t recall but maybe when you were spending most of your time with work and that woman.” He spat. _What?_

“I think you’re jealous because I spend less time with you. You can’t even recall when you felt like _that_ toward me.” You started to walk again and now you were in the center looking around to sit somewhere with good atmosphere.

“You can’t know what I feel.” He said while you were chasing between the old pub and the newly seeming posh restaurant.

“I don’t but it sounds you’re jealous as a friend more than-“

“I know what I feel Y/N. And I’m sorry to bother you with that. Can we say that this conversation never happened? It was not really my intention to spill it all out but-“ he stopped and sighed.

“But?” You gave your all attention to the words he’ll say now.

“But I guess it was in me for a long time that when you asked if I was jealous I did not want to hide the truth. That’s what friends do right? Telling the truth, always.” He gave one of his fake laughs again to lighten the mood.

“Yes.” You said and then rephrased your word.

“I mean, yes for the truth and friendship part. The other part, I honestly don’t know what to say. I hope I’ll be back in a day and we can meet.” You sounded sincere and comforting. He knew what you were trying to do and laughed for real this time.

“I can’t believe you’re trying to be nice to _me_. I’m your friend Y/N not someone you’ll never see again. But I would like to meet also. Still I don’t believe she will let you go that easily.” He said with a disappointing note. _Please god let me go_ you begged.

“I’ll try my best and worst excuses to get out of here. I don’t even know what we’re going to do. I hope not another reading of some shitty script.” You wanted to forget the previous conversation so you changed subject to the obvious and only subject you can talk about.

“Yeah.” Greg said and with a huff he sat on his couch.

“I guess I may see you soon.” He added. You smiled and nodded.

“Yes. I can call you or at least you can call me when you want someone to talk.”

“You’re not someone.” He said and brushed his hair with his hand.

“Yes. I got that very clear.” You joked. His breath hitched.

“I hope.” Then he said and cleared his throat.

“So see you soon.” He said. You felt ill in your stomach now and swallowed while you said _bye_ to him.

“See you.” You said and ended the call. When you put your mobile down you’ve realized the cold sweating and pulsing on your chest. He took you off guard and you knew something like this may come but never thought it would be now cause it’s been years. It should’ve happened in the first years of your friendship not now when everything’s alright.

In order to get you distracted you choose the old and trusty pub and hoped there would be some good fish&chips there. You went inside and order a pint and some chips cause they didn’t have the fish&chips option here. It was a lovely large pub with some tavern accents inside. On the outside it was chill and everyone were drinking from their glasses full of beer and some drank G&T. Sometimes Gwen wanted to have one and you would go to the nearest store to get it. While you waited for your order to come up you picked a place to sit outside.

"Where I left it last time?" she asked to herself while searching. She kept repeating the question to let her lead to find where it is. 

Gwen was still searching for her trusty friend to release the building tension in her body. Cursing at him or anyone did not help her until now and her temper was rising in every second she couldn't find her vibrator. It was a gift from her friends when she was young and exploring things with herself. She even thought of getting some bondage set on sale when she was in London. There she did not need a relief cause she had Giles but she carried a lot stuff from London to St. Ives including her sex toys collection. Now she needed the relief from her old friends and she knew it was just frustration but mostly any frustration she felt turned into a sex session with someone. Sometimes Giles would not want to have but it was very rare, so that she needed to do the job herself. Mostly any satisfaction was welcome by her and it did not matter unless she poured out the tension.

She went back to the cellar and found the boxes she left years ago. She was sure it was in her bedroom somewhere but still she might have packed them last time her parents came to the house. So she picked up every cardboard box with her hands and ripped the tape over the lines. It was old enough so the stickiness of tapes were out of date and then he opened the box clumsily. Her hands searched for something familiar but this only contained old toys and some sentimental clothings with a few papers wrapped by a rope. Then she got the other box and treated the same way she did to the first one. Ripping it open not caring if one of the flaps ripped a little. There were old cardigans and jumpers with a pair of two piece swimming costume. It was her most loved swimming costume and she’ve always wondered where it was and would it fit now if she put it on. She put the box separately aside from the other boxes to remind her that it was an important one. On her third box she only found old books and diplomas. She tossed that aside and went for the last one and hoped that she could find at least one thing that would help her. She slowly opened the lids this time closing her eyes before looking inside the box as if she was performing a religious act which she sometimes bothered to do throughout her 40 years of life.When all the lids were out and open her hand went inside and touched something cold. She snapped her eyes open and looked down where her hand touched. That was and old rubber duck. Then she fumbled around and under the first layer of stupid little things she found one little vibrator that she bought for herself when she was 18. After her birthday she liked the idea that her friends implied on her and went in for a sex shop. First she thought what if someone saw her but then she knew it was essential for a human to have these kinds of pleasure. Especially when she’s on her most active years and had no courage to do any one night stands, cause she couldn’t bother having a relationship at that time. For most of the time she would enjoy pleasuring herself and including the toys within. But then she knew it was not enough and needed someone just for that purpose. There she stepped in a long run relationship at the age of 19 with a guy who was a taurus, she thought that might be very great for the so called sex drive of someone under a taurus sign. She really thought about everything and he was almost the perfect guy. Except he wanted to commit and she wanted just the sex. It went on for two years and at their third year she was already seeing other people from her university. She was very social so there was no problem finding anyone eager to sleep with her. Her height intimidated some men and that drove them mad so often that they wanted to prove a point to themselves or to the world. As she would say every time she sensed the motivation of the man on that route ’He wants to own her and honestly, piss on her. Claim me in any way he can.’ But from the start those types of men only can be her colleagues nothing more cause she would not want to be around them unless they’ve been put together in a project. Another male ego frustration she would cause and even the director would tell her to be more friendly toward the men of that kind. It was ridiculous from the start to even think and now she was mad rather than sexually frustrated. She did not want to lose herself over some old feelings. She got her tiny vibrator and still searched for other things. _There must be more if this is here._ Then she found an outdated lube and a butt plug which shocked her for a second. Because she never remembered using or having it in the first place. She looked at it without touching it anymore and made a mental note to wash the vibrator very ferociously. Maybe it was her friend’s or-

“Oh.” She remembered the most absurd night of her sex life then. How could she forget? Her second boyfriend being a dick about putting the butt plug in his crack and wanted her to fuck him afterwards.

“Oh shit.” The memory made her insides turn. It was humiliation or a _fantasy_ as he said but she felt nothing but a stereotype. Playing the mistress was alright but not with someone like him. She did not like babies who were ready for another drip of milk from their mama’s tits even thought they were 30 or 50 or 20. It would never change. They always wanted the mom and scolding that they gave. They needed a thousand years of therapy rather than wasting a woman’s patience and emotions toward them.

“I’m not gonna lose my shit over this.” She said and gave a last shake to that box to see anything left for her pleasure. _There_ she found. _Nipple clamps._ Yes they were essential for her cause no one got it right how she liked and she would offer them to put the clamps on. Yes, she would order in a tone that was not open to any question.

“Put the clamps on.” She would say and the man would do what he’s been told.

She reached for the clamps and closed the box. Putting it aside where it was before she picked it up. Then she put other boxes in front of it. She looked at the two treasures in her hand and left the cellar with smiling. She locked the door and also did not forget to full a glass of red wine for her bath session. When everything was set she went upstairs and closed the door behind her as if she was 14 again in her house with her parents when she first discovered the power of orgasms. She would put on music or go into bathroom for a very long shower. Sometimes it was not that long of a shower that would even surprise everyone in the house to think if she really took a shower or a dump. She giggled inside at the memories. But she did what she did at those times and put on a good music for her mood. Then she washed the vibrator and then the clamps. Vibrator really took long and her hands burned under the hot water. When she was finished she held her hands under the cold water while the tub was filling with bubbling water. She dried her hands and started to get out of her clothes. She was slow to build tension and also to let the tub fill full. When the fabric went sliding down on her hips and her nipples were hard because of the exposition of direct cold air do to being under a warm fabric. She let her hair fall down to her shoulders. It grew long but not so long as she mostly had in the past. Then she went to cupboards and took two essential oils. One was patchouli and the other was lavender. She poured more of the patchouli compared to little drops of lavender. In a few seconds the tub would be full so she turned off the taps and got inside trying not to spill any of the water out. She must have been measured right cause when she was fully inside with her arms and legs, the water was aligned with the sides of the tub. The song in the background repeated forever until she would be finished and bathed in her own pleasure.

Bathroom was only lit by the outside sources of light coming inside from the window. That gave the act a good atmosphere and she rested her hand on the back of the tub. The hot water was hugging her body like no other men hugged her with their body. Her eyes closed and inhaling the scents of essential oils. Only scent missing was her own scent inside these. She pulled her hand out of the water and reached for the clamps. Her mouth was wet and she could feel the bubbling feeling inside her stomach reaching for her heartbeat. Her pulse quickened as she held one clamp on her nipple and then she licked the clamp. Wetted it and then pinched onto her nipple. A long waited moan came from her and before it stopped another came. Her skin burned inside the water creating fumes licking her face delicately. Her other hand was on her side, under the water. She could not wait any longer and reached for her thigh first. Her fingers brushed on the skin and then circled close to her spot. She could barely hold but still wanted to take it as slow and torturous as possible. She wanted to have as much orgasms as possible.

She did not use the vibrator for a time and just rubbed herself under the water. Any change of pacing of her hand accompanied with her moans and a cutting hitch of her breath. When she felt she found a pace, the hand outside of the water placed the other clamp to her other breast. She inhaled deep and bit her lip trying to hold on. Then her other hand clumsily took the vibrator. She put it in her mouth focusing on her other hand and the rhythm of the music, she paced up her speed. As her fingertips touched all the right spots her heart was eager come out as her chest heavy with unreleased breaths inside it. Her back arced and one of her feet reached for the end of the tub. Her toes held onto tub and her other hand took the vibrator from her mouth with a sound of pop. She gave in to the sensation and released some of her tension and gained more wetness followed by louder sounds from her mouth. She pinched the skin of her breast and her hand on her spot came out of the water. Her foot went inside the tub and her hands grasped the sides of the tub. She turned herself over carefully but spilled some amount of water out on the floor and her clothes. She slowly soaked the vibrator with the water and then placed it between her lips between her thighs. The water was getting cold but her body was staying against the temperature loss and even gaining more. When her fingers felt the hotness of her spot she couldn’t hold it longer and inserted the vibrator inside her. A suctioning gave her what she needed and with the disappearance of vibrator she felt like whole. Her fingers found the button and pressed two times. Her hips moved with the rhythm spilling water time to time but she did not care at this point. Her hands were empty at the moment and she had nothing better to suck on. She put her forefinger and middle into her mouth and sucked on it in the echo of her orgasmic cries. She pushed on the button one more time for full speed and was ready to give everything out inside her. Her legs were already trembling from the first contact with her little vibrator and now she tried hard to bear the muscle tension building anywhere else than between her legs.

She gave up. She took her hand from her mouth and her head dug deep into the tub of water. _Now it was smelling better than before_ she thought. Her hand easily found her clitoris and rubbed unrhythmic circles over it. The touch was an instant response to her building orgasm and she directly hit the tip of her climax in her second or third rub. Her mouth opened and she swallowed the water. It made her heart skip beats and in an instant she was out of the water, still rubbing and trembling loudly while coughing a dozen times. It gave her more pleasure this way that she squirted more and more until she was fully satisfied with her unending orgasm. Her walls tight and throbbing, pulsating under her hand. She wished there was just a bed beside the tub. The exhaustion after a tension was so much more worse that she wanted a real person next to her to finish her properly. She knew she was still eager to have more and more but now, she was going to rest a little in the tub and relax. If God helped her she would not touch herself again like she planned before going in the tub. She slowly gathered herself and opened her eyes that she did not know were closed for a long time.

“Shit!” she said when she opened her eyes. She hoped to see herself on her mirror but all she saw was a silhouette in her bathroom lighted partially by the street lights from her window.

"I'm so sorry Gwen!" you almost screamed and then escaped out of the bathroom but could not forget what your eyes have bathed in. 


End file.
